The Blog

Carlos Mencia is really Ned?! Really?

2007-03-30T13:36:00.000-07:00

So, every comic I know is getting bent because they think that it is absurd that Carlos Mencia aka Ned, is pretending to be something that he is not, Mexican.

So I asked a national comedy headliner what he thought.

" I'm glad you asked" he said,

"I was having tea with LARRY THE CABLE GUY and CARROT TOP, and they too thought it absurd, that NED was using an alias identity, in Carlos Mencia."

SEND IN THE RAIDER NATION!

2007-02-28T13:35:00.000-08:00

SEND IN THE RAIDER NATION!

People are always saying that if you wanna solve the worlds problems, send in the United Nations.

Yeah, Iraq, send in the United Nations!

Darfur, send in the United Nations!

I don't know. I've seen the U.N's track record.

If you wanna get things done, don't send the United Nations, send in the Raider Nation!

Send them to the Middle East.
Tell those wacked out Raider fans that, Osama is a Charger Fan, and is threatening the worlds supply of Coors Light.
I bet those fuckers will find him in a day and create a Middle East chapter of The Black Hole all in the process.
Raiders!

Titties are very important during sex.

2007-02-26T13:10:00.000-08:00

Not for the obvious reasons.

Yeah they are awesome to look at even better to touch and feel.

But, the #1 reason titties are great for sex, is because....

well....They help keep timing, and rhythm and pace.

Titties are well...sort of a sexual pentameter.

If you are fucking your woman just right, the titties shoud be giving that "Wax on, Wax off " motion. You know what I'm talking about Daniel-San!

Because if you'r fucking her all ass backwards, you get that one tittie thats doing "Wax on, Wax off", and the other one is doing "paint the fence".

And that's not good for anyone.

She will be unhappy and never fuck you again.

And what do you get?? You'll be all alone "Waxing on and wacking off!"

It's All an Illusion!

2007-02-15T13:10:00.000-08:00

Funny is perspective.
Women, men, black, brown, white, yellow or rainbow.
People laugh for different reasons.
Plus there are more than enough people togo around, for everyone to
have an audience.
But, with all the internet sights, cable shows, TV, movies, radio,
mags, that promote, showcase or market entertainers, entertainment
overload will hurt us all.
No one will have the long lavish careers like before. We will be so
overloaded with each super entertainer, that we will grow tired of
them within a couple years.
Andy Warhol made an uncanny prediction that we would all be famous for
15 min. And now we can with You Tube, MySPACE, FaceBook, Yahoo, Etc....
Virtual entertainment nobodies are overnight somebodies, with the turn
of a web page.
We are focused on the lives of others ignoring our own miserable lives.
We are worried about people on TV (Anna Nicole, Kramer, Brittany
Spears, Brangelina), worried about people in Iraq, worried about gay
marriage, worried about other peoples children (via abortion, spanking
laws, amber alerts, To Catch a Predator, Megans Law, Jon Binay Ramsey
etc..), other miserable people (Maury Povich, Peoples Court, Cheaters,
Blind Date, WifeSwap etc...).
Then we are shown the lavish lives of people more famous than us.
How do other people live? Cribs, Lifestyles of the rich and famous, My
Super Sweet Sixteen, The Real OC. Then we read the mags, wht are the
rich and famous wearing? Where do they live, what do they drive, where
do they eat, who do they fuck......
Then we want it and we are not satisfied until we have it and we run
up credit, steal, cheat, manipulate, fabricate, overwork underpay, go
bankrupt orin debt, just to achieve it.

We blame the Government, corporate evil doers, the media, the illuminatti.
People, it is US who have pulled the wool over our own eyes.
We have begun to look outside our own lives and looking into the lives
of others. Strange days indeed.
Just create your own reality. Forget about other peoples reality.
You want to change the world, change yourself.
You want to end pollution, think before you buy.
You want to end wars, think before you buy.
You want to end tyranny in government, think before you vote. Hell,
just vote but, vote smart.
We are the world! We are the children!
Let it Be!

A Mermaid Beckons "Yo Quiero Taco Bell!?"

2007-02-15T13:07:00.000-08:00

As long as I have been mexican, (my whole life), they have talked
about building a wall or a fence or a moat....with a dragon, and
sharks with lazers and mermaids that sit on rocks beckoning mexicans
to come ashore "Yo queiero Taco bell?! Yo quiero Taco Bell?!"
Stealing Jokes? Yes , some people do it. But, for the rest of us....
It's collective consciencness.
It's the 100th monkey theory.
At some point 100 people think an idea or do some activity and
simultaniously, it becomes a collective conscienceness event.
I have ideas and thought and actions and knowledge, that I have no
recollection of hearing or studying, or reading or being told.
Poof! I just know (or it could be the drunken black outs, who knows
for sure).
Did you know they have a drug that kills cancer?
Yeah and no drug company has got a patend on it.
It is now public and the research is being done in a less restrictive
country, Canada. Wow, just knew. Never saw an article or story. It's
there though. And soon it will be world wide news. You would think
that this would be a bigger story than just killing certain strains of
cervical cancer that is obtained through sexual contact. But, then
again sex sells. Why cure AIDS when we could just give you a long
distracting hard on. Now there, don't we all feel better?
Excuse me, while I touch my hundred monkeys.